I have had one of those days today. You know the ones I mean. The ones where after a long season of struggle you have a day (or at least a couple of hours) that seem to go better than it has in a LONG time. I have been in a season of constant struggle lately. My kids have argued with me and with each other. They don’t want to pick up their toys or help around the house. I am always mean for setting rules and restricting activities. My baby is still not sleeping at 7 1/2 months old. I was feeling like a failure in many areas. I always feel tired. The house is always a mess and I had settled nicely into a rut.
I would wake up, feel totally overwhelmed at the state of my house and myself and the attitudes of my kids and then settle into a pity party that would last most of the day. I would wonder around the house not doing much of anything and sporting my bad attitude for my kids to see. They were fighting, I was frustrated, the baby was crying, and all the while I am wondering what I am doing wrong. So last night, after reading this great article I had a new sense of determination. I had a new game plan. And I was ready for a new season.
And now I have one morning behind me with this new game plan and I am pleasantly surprised. I have accomplished more this morning than I have in a full day most days recently. My children have played better and the teaching time after an argument or wrong choice has been much more heartfelt and heart focused. I desire to truly turn my children’s hearts to God. I want them to desire to help, to think of others and to know that family comes first. I can’t train them to think like that when I am grumbling about my service here at home.
I had become distracted and had lost my focus. This is what God made me for. This is what He called me to do. This is the place He created just for me. These are the children that He hand-picked just for me to raise. So, why am I wasting my days sporting my bad attitude about it? Why am I allowing myself to be “pulled down” this way. NO MORE!!!!
I am renewing my dedication to Bible Study. I am limiting my time on the computer. I am turning off the tv. I am engaging with my children more. I am getting more organized in many areas of my life. I am preparing my heart, my body, and my home for the time when my husband returns from work so that I may spend time and focus on our relationship. And even though it is a lot of work. I love it. I feel better about myself when I am busy and put time into my home. I am more relaxed when I plan ahead for dinner, for errands, for church. Just overall I feel better.
So, I am writing this out for the accountability of my blog readers (friends). I want to continue on this path until it is habit. I don’t want to go back to that place of living in stress and chaos and despair and overwhelm just because of lack of discipline. So, pray for me, ask me how I am doing, please, hold me accountable. I need you all. I need to know that others are going to ask.
Well, it is another speech day today, plus Wal-Mart, a stop at church, and then to the library. So I need to put away lunch and head out. Thank you all for being my friends and prayer partners.
Until next time,
Amanda
I was super encouraged by that same post. I will try to be a great accountability partner, I need one pretty badly too. God is good to have put so many things in His Word to remind us how treasured we are and how imperative our faithfullness to the task is. Here’s to not looking back to that place that the culture sets us in and looking upward to the place that God holds us to :)
I read that post too. It was very good. Eventhough I’m not a SAHM, I can identify with so many of the things you talked about in this post. I’ll have to send you an e-mail or call you later.