Raising a Boy

Are you the mother to a son? If you are like me, you have an idea of the final product that you wish to raise but are unsure how to get there. I know I do. I want to raise a boy that will one day lead his family to follow in the ways of Christ and be a world changer for Him. I desire to see him be a hard worker that is responsible and reliable to provide for the family that God blesses him with. But, raising a boy in our society is hard. Movies. Video games. Friends. Toys. They all pull at him. They pull him toward violence and laziness. Media shows time after time that men are lazy and stupid and incapable of making decisions for others. So, how do you combat this?

My thoughts on this are not always widely shared and I have had to walk away from various friendships as our children have grown because I just couldn’t have my son exposed to things that others find acceptable. There are a few areas that we are really focusing on even now with Josiah. He is only 7 (just turned) and it will be awhile before many of the relationship aspects of being a male will need to be addressed but we are focusing now on character, habits, and work ethic right now.

Character is so vital because this shapes the very core of who our children become. Things such as telling the truth, being responsible for their own actions, and helping others when they see a need are not things that we do by human nature. They must be taught because as humans we are self-centered and we must train our sons to think differently.

We, as parents, must be very intentional about this training from an early age in our boys’ life. Teaching him to help momma, having Dad ask him to “protect” momma while he is at work, and challenging him to work hard with the men in his life when there are projects to be done are great places to start. The earlier that a boy learns how to work hard and push himself to meet a goal or finish a task the faster he will be ready to take responsibility for the ministry that God will call him to. If we allow our boys to whittle away hours on the computer or in front of the television being fed society’s view of a man that works a “nothing’ job, comes home and demands dinner, and then sits and does nothing we are setting him up to accept this lifestyle for himself.

The Bible and even history are full of men of great character and work ethic, of creativity and ingenuity and we must encourage our boys to use these men as role models. Be a leader like Joshua who wasn’t afraid to take a stand and to listen to God’s leading and move forward. Be a witness like Paul who always spoke of God’s forgiveness no matter what was in your past. Be hungry for more of Christ like Peter who wanted his whole body washed by the Savior and not just his feet. These men are great examples.

Josiah has a staff (a big stick really) but it is his Leadership Training Stick. He uses it for “play” mostly right now but what I can already see happening is the difference in his attitude and demeanor when he is using it. When my dad gave it to him he presented it as a “tool” just as men like David and Joshua had staffs as they grew and learned to lead. It doesn’t matter whether you give your son a stick or something else, but you must be pointed about the reason behind the tool. He is a leader in training. And he should take pride in the job that God has called him to.

So, in this day and age while we try our best at raising a boy that will one day lead a ministry, a family or both, we need to remember that training doesn’t happen overnight and for now they are just boys. It is all about the baby steps. It is about opening the door for momma, or carrying his sister’s library bag. It is about providing lots of talk, teaching, and building up of good Godly role models. It isn’t just sitting back and watching them grow up. It is training. It is pushing them harder than they like at times to reach a new goal so that they can feel the “rush” of pride and accomplishment. And, it is being on our knees for them. Praying for their character, their future, and asking for help with their training. This raising a boy responsibility is overwhelming at times. But with God’s help and a little bit of intentional living, we can raise a generation of world changers for Christ as we “work” at home. Don’t loose heart momma, that boy who is all “go” and dirt and noise right now will one day be “singing your praise in the city gates” for all your hard work and training.