It is cold outside where I live so I am going to say, “Grab a glass of hot chocolate and sit back for a long read.” But if you live where it is warmer, grab a glass of iced tea! I really felt burdened to share my heart. This is lengthy but I hope you will find time to read it all and that it will bless your heart.
I have started many posts thinking that I was going to write about how I felt at the time, only to delete them thinking they would make others feel bad, or that others didn’t want to hear about my struggles or bad days. But over the past several weeks I have felt the need to share my struggles. I have many times experienced relief when I read about another momma that struggles with her attitude or with being productive. So, I need to “vent” I want to document my struggles and what has helped, and I want to lighten someone’s load by letting them know they are not alone.
It is January. Really need I say more?
For anyone who lives where there is “WINTER” they know what I mean. The fun of the holidays is over. Life is settling down into routine again but one thing is hard. It is cold. It is windy. It is GREY!!! All the time grey, with little sunshine and everyone must be inside most of the time.
Everyone needs to get out of this house!
Over the past couple of weeks there has been a lot going on in my family. My sister has been sick and I have been on the phone giving updates a lot and helping to support her over the phone while she is three states away. We have had a couple different situations at church that have been on my mind lately as well. I have been heavy hearted for these situations to begin with.
Add on top of that four young children at home ALL day long. They grow weary of being indoors all day everyday and I grow weary of their lack of interest in anything. With everyone in the house more toys get taken out than get put away, and this leave this momma feeling as if she is fighting a loosing battle most days.
After many days of feeling run down, stressed out, and going no where as I spent days on end doing the same four things. Children. Dishes. Laundry. House. I started to loose motivation. I started to wonder if it was even worth it. I started slipping. Have you ever “slipped”? I didn’t “slip” as far this time as I have in the past and I was able to climb back up faster than usual. For I have found the answer to my problem, most of the time.
ME!!!
When I focus on my stress and my work and my desires, I tend to get overwhelmed and lose the joy that I usually enjoy in my life. If I allow myself to become weighted down with the worries of this life, I lose my joy. I begin to HATE this life that I normally love and I begin to resent the very people that I usually live for. So, what have I found that works for me? Well, I would love to tell you.
I love routine. I love a clean house. So, I have learned that when I start to “slip” I must prepare myself mentally to start the next day on a different foot. See, I have a routine and I love it. I love how my house is cleaned and my children are rested and my sink is shiny when I stick to my routine. I love how I take the time to be in the Word of my Savior each and every morning. I also find that if I stick to my routine I have more time throughout my week to visit with friends, do crafts with my children, and finish projects that I have been wanting to do. But really I still only have 24 hours in each day even when I am on my routine. I just use them wiser. I don’t linger on the computer (my biggest time waster). I don’t put off my work and then become stressed when it isn’t done. I feel so much more content when I am doing my job and doing it well.
I love my job. I love my children. I love making my house a home.
So, when I start to slip into a state of self-centeredness and discontentedness I try to thrwart those feelings by pouring myself into the job I love after I set my heart right through God’s Word.
Does it work the first time every time? No.
Why?
Because I am human and I don’t always “want” to refocus. Sometimes feeling sorry for myself seems much more easy than putting the effort into pulling myself out. The opposite is usually true.
So, as I have been writing this post and it has continued to lengthen this is my heart and my prayer, that even as the long days of winter lome before us that you and I could find passion in our calling. Whether mother, daughter, homemaker, or educator, employee or boss, find passion in the calling God gave us and to not allow ourselves to be consumed with self-centeredness and self focus. For God’s Word teaches –
..be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Do you struggle to keep your heart content with the life God has called you to? Do “slip” somedays into self-centeredness? If so, how do you pull your self out of it?
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